i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
