Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
