woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
