I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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