Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
