I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
