you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Randomize
