Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
