i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
