why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
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we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
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Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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