You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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