32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
