I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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