you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
