i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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