Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
