I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
