making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
