while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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