you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
