Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
