This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
