I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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