ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
