party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
