one two three fourrrrnication!
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
