talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
