New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
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Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
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Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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