i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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