Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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