Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Someone signed my nipple.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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