He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i love accidental penises.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
