it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
