Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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