im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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