After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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