My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
