last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize