My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
