party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
