Sry I called you an 8
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
