Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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