Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
How external is "for external use only"?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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