he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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