im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize