he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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