dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
