it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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