he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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