After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I checked into jail on foursquare
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize