I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize