He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize