I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
