You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
