Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
