I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
