I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
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So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
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That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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