My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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