Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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