After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
