You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
