What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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