he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
