i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
